


I'm sorry if I say I need you

by MarblesandBowties



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M, Sick Harry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-16
Updated: 2014-01-16
Packaged: 2018-01-08 22:45:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1138324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MarblesandBowties/pseuds/MarblesandBowties
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Australia was terrible this time around.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm sorry if I say I need you

**Author's Note:**

> This is all in my head. None of this happened. Revolves around the last few days of the Australian leg in the TMH tour.  
> I may have use 'Strong' in the background hence the title.
> 
> Comment if you guys want me to continue. :)
> 
> I hope you like it!!!

It happened during the last days of the Australian leg of the Take Me Home tour. Harry was called to an important meeting in some room at their Hotel in Melbourne. He was sleepy and his body ached, being on tour for so long definitely took a toll on everyone. Add to that he was already sick, suffering from hay fever. Harry followed Paul to wherever they were going. In his head he knew that this meeting would be no good. He was asked to come to it alone so what could it be. To tell him he was kicked out of the band for looking at Louis last night on stage. To be honest he cared less about it. They just got back together from a fight because according to some article he cheated on Louis with Nick and he has asked his interviewer on a date. To make matters worse in came Louis pretty girlfriend.

Paul stopped in front of a door and opened it for Harry to step inside. And all his thoughts were confirmed. Sitting inside were their entire Modest management team not to mention their PR and security. It was like a mini party. Expect it wasn’t. No one was laughing or at least smiling, they all had stern looks on their faces. Harry was a bit scared from looking at their faces. He could feel his heart race. He looked at Paul the only person he felt safe with at this point. The only person who would understand his feelings from everyone else in the room.

“Harry, please take a seat” Marco from Modest told him.

He walked towards one of the sofas which were in the room and sat in the one furthest away from the rest. He folded his hands on his lap and stared at them. He looked at the rings on his finger, twisting the one on his middle finger in his right hand. He remembered the one which Louis gave him when he proposed. He also remembered removing it and placing it in his locker at home because he wasn’t allowed to wear it.

….

Harry starts thinking about last night, how Louis got so mad after reading the articles. The one’s which said he was flirting with the interviewer.

‘That whore’ Harry thinks. He never gets mad at women but this was beyond normal. How dare she tell everyone that he asked her on a date? When he was just being friendly towards her. He is always friendly with anyone. That’s one of the things his mother taught him when he was growing up. She told him to be a gentleman, to always say his thank you, she told him to always treat a woman right. And his friendliness towards women was something that was used against him a lot. Normally Harry wouldn’t mind this, he is used to it before, in the beginning it was a bit hard to get around but he had got used to the media portraying him as a womanizer and a lothario. Harry didn’t mind it, because usually Louis would ignore it and he could always go to Louis and they would both be wrapped up with each other that they will forget about everything else.

But yesterday was different, Louis actually read the article. He read every single word in front of Harry. Harry thought that he would laugh it off, but instead he didn’t. He threw the paper away, got up from their bed and left the room leaving a stunned Harry. He didn’t know what to do, whether he should go behind or not. Instead Harry just stayed where he was, waiting for Louis to calm down and come back. When Louis was mad he would cut himself off from everyone else and just sulk on his own. Then later Harry would find him and pull him into his arms and just hold him till he was ready to spill it out. But from the way Louis left Harry thought it might be a bad idea to go behind him. And he didn’t even have the energy to do so. He was already tired and terribly sick mentally and physically.

Harry had fallen asleep when he felt someone shake him. He woke up to find it was Niall.

“Hey Hazza, wake up we need to get to sound check” Niall said bending down towards Harry.

“Louis?” Harry said letting his eyes adjust to the brightness in the room.

“No Harry, it’s me Niall.” “Harry you feel so warm are you alright?” Niall asked.

“Headache” Harry mumbled. He couldn’t find the energy to speak now. He wanted Louis to come back and wake him up not Niall. Harry knew something was wrong. He hated this; he hated the fighting especially when he has done nothing wrong. He hated not having Louis around. Harry needed Louis like humans need oxygen to survive. He had to have Louis around; it was not something he could put to words. But his life depended on him, he was his driving force even when everything was down Louis was the one who helped Harry to stand up. Every time he fell, Louis picked him up. It was hard; all of this was very hard.

“I’ll be down in 10” Harry said getting up from the bed.

“Alright mate” Niall said heading towards the door.

He showered and got changed with a throbbing head and a pain in his chest. Harry didn’t want to cry especially before a show. This was his dream, singing in front of thousands of people. He should be bouncing with energy with a huge smile on his face. But today he was silently dressing as if he was going to a funeral.

He took his bag which he carried to the show with him. It had some clothes, his phone charger, his laptop, deodorant, his bandana and lube. He carried it everywhere, whenever he was with Louis.

He went down to the lobby to meet the boys. He only saw Zayn and Niall.

“Where’s Louis?” Harry asked them.

“Louis left with Liam to the arena” Zayn said.

At this point Harry was just mad, not only had Louis not come back but he has also left him and gone to the arena with Liam. That night during the show Louis completely ignored Harry. And Harry heart just tightened every time Louis wouldn’t look at him. The show wasn’t Harry’s greatest performance. He was trying his best not to cry on stage. But he couldn’t help when his voice was cracking when he was singing his part in ‘Little Things’. He changed parts of that song with Ed for Louis, because he meant so much to him and that was his way of telling the world his love for Louis. And when he was completely ignoring Harry he couldn’t take it.

Harry was quiet the ride back to the hotel. He was also quiet when he walked towards his room. After a few minutes Harry heard the door open and Louis walked in. Louis ignored him and walked towards the bathroom.

“Louis wait” Harry said walking behind him before he could close the door.

“Louis please talk to me”

“What is there to talk Harry?” Louis said looking at the mirror still avoiding eye contact with Harry.

Harry was angry at this point so he walked forward grabbed Louis by his waist and turned him around. Harry’s heart melted when he looked at Louis. It was clear that he had been crying. His eyes were red; he had bags under his eyes. His eyes emitted no happiness instead all Harry saw was hurt, sadness and anger.

“Louis you left me this morning ignored me during the show and now you don’t want to talk to me” “Just tell me something Lou. It’s driving me crazy when you do this” Harry pleaded still holding onto Louis.

“I’m sick of this Harry” Louis said, he sounded so broken.

“I didn’t do any of the things they said in that article” “Do you ever think that I would do anything to hurt you” “You’re my everything Louis; I would never ever cheat on you. You know I wouldn’t even look twice at someone. How could you believe what they say?” Harry said.

“Why would she say something like that Harry?” Louis said finally looking at Harry in the eye.

“I don’t know Louis it’s probably management paying her to make up some bullshit” Harry said pulling Louis closer. “I don’t mind that. I just don’t like it when you put up a fight me.” “I need you Louis I’m not strong without you” “You can’t abandon me, we both have to fight this battle” Harry said with tears falling from his eyes.

“I’m sorry” Louis said leaning to kiss away the tears that were flowing down Harry’s face. “I am so, so sorry about this morning. I don’t know why I let my anger get the best of me” “I just hate reading stuff about you, when it’s completely false.”

“It won’t happen again baby” Louis said kissing Harry’s cheek. “I will never leave you alone” “I can’t leave my baby now can I?” Louis said looking at Harry.

Harry could now see the blue in Louis eye’s returning. He wanted it to be there permanently. He didn’t want Louis to cry ever. It always broke his heart when he saw Louis crying.

…

“Harry tomorrow there will be an interview” Marco said

“Okay” Harry said looking up at him. He always had interviews so why would this one be any special.

“Liam and Niall will join you”

“Okay” Harry said again.

There was silence around the room. Harry felt confused.

“There will be some questions Harry” Andrea said stepping in. Andrea was from their PR team. She was not that old, somewhere in her late twenties. If she didn’t work with the people who wanted Harry and Louis to hide their relationship he might have actually liked her, as a friend of course.

“And we want you to deny Larry” she said. “We want you to deny any kind of relationship with Louis.” “You will be shown some photographs and you have to say that it is photo shopped”

Harry felt like someone had just driven a knife through his chest. His head started spinning. He can’t do it. He can’t lie. He was never good at lying or acting. This is why Louis always answered any question related to Larry Stylinson. Harry was a terrible liar he would easily give away.

“But” that was all Harry could say before he put his head in his hands. He felt bile rising up his throat. The articles was one thing but denial he couldn’t do that. How could he go in front of national television and deny the most precious thing in his life. How could he deny something that was tattooed to his body, something that ran in his blood, how could he deny something so strong that he felt it in his bones?

Harry wanted to run, run far away from this room, from this people. Hide somewhere with Louis, somewhere no one could find them.

“It has to be done, the interview is set. Liam and Niall will be there” “All you have to do is deny it” “That’s all, nothing much”

Harry snapped at that. “Nothing much?” he asked. “That is some fucking guts you got there to say nothing much” Harry shouted. He was shaking at this point. Everyone just stared at him, if Louis was there he would have rushed to hold him but he wasn’t. Harry felt alone. He felt so vulnerable.

Andrea was surprisingly quiet.

“I can’t do it” Harry said. “Let Louis deny it he always does. Tell him. I can’t”

“That’s exactly why we want you to do it” Marco now said. “Louis is always the one denying it. This time it has to be you” “This way it looks more real”

“What looks more real?” Harry said. “The lies! Cause right now it looks pretty real to me” “I don’t know how long you can do this, but people will know. Fans aren’t stupid as you think they are” “You can keep doing all this stupid things but they will know”

“They won’t until you are signed to us” Andrea said. “There are rules that you have to follow. If you don’t there will be consequences”

“Yeah like what put me to jail? Because I am in love” “Fuck you” Harry said. He wanted to go a corner and cry but his anger was more powerful and his voice didn’t sound weak. He wanted to punch something, more like punch everyone in this room.

“Harry” Paul said walking up to him. “Calm down son”

Paul put his arm on Harry’s shoulder.

Harry was now sitting at the edge of the chair. His legs bouncing. He always did that when he was excited or nervous.

“Does Louis know?” Harry then asked Andrea.

“Not yet, but he will when you tell it” she answered.

“Just get ready for the interview it’s in the evening at 4” “Paul will take you to the studio” Andrea said before walking off with Marco and the rest of the people leaving Paul and Harry.

Harry looked at his watch. It was 9 o’clock in the morning. Today was a day off and Harry was planning on spending it with Louis. But looks like all his plans were washed away. 

“Harry?” Paul said. He sounded worried.

“I need a moment Paul” Harry said rubbing his temple. His head hurt furiously. He has never been this sick.

Paul nodded and walked out of the room.

Harry laid back on the chair and closed his eyes. Tears which were forming in his eyes now fell down his cheeks. Harry’s mind was a block. He didn’t know what to do. Never in his life has he felt so much pain. Ever since the day they were forced to hide their relationship Louis was the one who denied it in every interview. And Harry was there in every interview. His heart broke every time a question about ‘Larry Stylinson’ was raised and Louis would answer saying it was a conspiracy or a fan-made thing which wasn’t real.

But today was different Harry had to do the lying and Louis was not going to be there. Harry had gotten used to Louis not been there in interviews. For the past few months they were put in the same interview only for a number of times and even if they were, they were never allowed to sit near each other.

Harry needed Louis. At this moment, he wanted Louis to hold him and tell him he could do it. He needed Louis to make him strong. Harry felt very weak, when he got up from his seat and walked towards the door. Paul was leaning on the wall when Harry walked out.

“I’m going to my room” Harry said. He wiped the wetness off his face.

Paul didn’t say anything. They walked back in silence the same way they walked to the meeting few minutes ago.

They stopped in front of Harry’s and Louis room.

“I’ll see you later then Harry” Paul said putting a hand on Harry’s shoulder.

“Yeah, okay” Harry said before sliding in the key card to open the door.

Louis was still asleep when Harry walked in. He walked towards his side of the bed at sat on it. He didn’t know if he should wake Louis or just let him sleep. His heart felt heavy and his throat burnt, he felt dizzy. Harry got up and rushed to the bathroom. He opened the tap and took some water and put it on his face. He felt vomit rising up his throat. He puked into the sink. His throat was burning; he closed his eyes and let everything that was in stomach out.

 “Harry” he head Louis say.

Before long, he heard Louis walking towards the bathroom. “Harry! Are you alright?” Louis shouted running towards Harry and putting his hand on his back.

“Oh god Harry. You’re so warm”

Louis ran his hand up and down Harry’s back trying to ease his pain.

Harry felt like he couldn’t puke anymore so he took some water and put it in his mouth.

“Baby you’re so sick” “Look at you, your shivering” Louis said putting his hands on either side of Harry’s face.

Louis picked up a towel from the railing and put it under the tap to wet it so he could wipe Harry’s face with it.

Harry still felt very sick but with the cool towel on his face he felt himself relaxing a bit.

“Lou” Harry said. “I have to tell you something”

“First let’s go to bed and change these clothes” Louis said putting his hand around Harry and letting him lean on him.

Louis took Harry to the bed and let him lie down before he started removing his t-shirt. Harry was wearing one of Louis t-shirts and it was a bit tight on him. Louis couldn’t stop smiling at it.

“Louis” Harry said grabbing his hand and Louis lifted the t-shirt over Harry’s head.

“I have to tell you something”

Louis could see Harry’s chest rising and falling quicker than usual. Harry’s chest was turning red and he was sweating. Louis put his hands on Harry’s chest and it was burning hot.

“Harry you have to take some medicine. You’re having fever” Louis said. He was very worried now.

“No, no medicine” “Just listen to me” Harry said now taking both of Louis hands and placing it on his chest right above his heart.

“Louis I love you” Harry began “I started loving you from the moment I met you in that disgusting toilet in Xfactor” “I don’t think I can ever stop loving you” “You are the most beautiful thing I have ever laid my eye on. You are extremely important to me. I can stay without breathing but I can’t stay without you Lou. If I ever loose you I will die, it is simple as that. My future, my existence depends on you” Harry said taking Louis hand and kissing it.

“They want me to deny it Lou” Harry said with tears flowing down his eyes. He looked at Louis and Louis looked shocked his mouth was open.

“What the fuck” Louis said. “They want you to deny it”

Louis tried to pull his hands away from Harry but Harry tightened his grip. He sat up against the headboard.

“I told them I can’t do it. But they are forcing me too” “I fought with them, but they just told me to get ready for the interview”

Louis pulled his hands from Harry’s grip and looked down at the sheets.

“First the article then this? They just don’t get it do they” Louis shouted. It was visible that he was angry now. He got up and walked towards the window. The curtains were closed but he didn’t open it. He just stood in front of it.

“Tell me what to do Lou?” Harry said wiping away the tears and standing up from the bed. His head started spinning so he had to hold onto the bed side table to stop falling.

“I don’t know Haz, there’s no use fighting with them” Louis said shaking his head.

“I’ll do anything they ask me to, I just want to protect you” Harry said taking slow steps towards Louis. “I’ll do anything for you”

“Even deny our relationship” Louis said.

“It’s not like that.” Harry said. He walked up to Louis. His head was hurting really badly, he didn’t want to fight but he figured this was where it was going.

“Then what is it like?” Louis said turning around to face Harry.

“I didn’t choose it okay” Harry shouted. His throat ached with each word he said. “I didn’t tell them to write those articles, I didn’t ask them to set up an interview so that I could go and deny us” “I didn’t ask for any of this.”

“I wish I could change it” Harry said softly looking at his feet.

“Then why don’t you change it” “Give them what they want. Since you didn’t ask for any of this” Louis said folding his arms across his chest.

Harry hated this. He hated it when Louis would say something like this. He knew Louis was hurt and this was just hurt speaking but Harry hated it when Louis twisted the story around. Make it sound like Harry was the bad person. When all Harry is doing is trying to save their relationship, save them from breaking up and accepting defeat to their management.

“Louis” Harry shouted. “Listen to me”

“I will never give up on us. I can’t give up on us. We can’t give up” “I love you Louis why can’t you see it. I am madly and stupidly in love with you. My life is nothing without you. This is hard, what they are trying to do is fucking terrible. I hate it. But I will never surrender to them. I’ll fight till my last drop because there is no one like you Lou. I can’t be without you”

“You can have Nick” Louis said looking away from Harry.

“Fuck you” Harry said putting his hands in his head.

“Why are you being so fucking blind Louis? Can’t you see I am falling apart? I am losing my mind. I need you not some fucking radio host who’s a nothing but a friend.”

“Look at me?” Harry shouted.

“Can’t you see your everywhere in my body” “I have you tattooed across my chest” Harry said pointing to the two sparrows on his chest. “Don’t be so naïve Lou”

Louis didn’t say anything he just kept on staring at some stupid vase on the other side of the room.

Harry walked up to him and put his hand under Louis chin and made him look at him.

“I promised you a forever, didn’t I Lou?” Harry said softly

“I made a promise to you when you first told me you loved me, I told it you when we first kissed, I told it to you when we first had sex, I told it you when we moved into our house together, I told it to you when you proposed.”

“And I am still keeping that promise Louis; it hasn’t changed on my side”

“I don’t know about yours”

With that Harry turned around picked his t-shirt and walked out of the room.

Leaving Louis behind with a single tear rolling down his cheek, “It will never change” Louis whispered wiping away his tears, looking down at the paper he had tucked inside Harry’s journal which was lying on the sofa. Louis might have written a song to Harry last night when Harry was asleep. It may have been only a few lines.

It may end like ‘ _and you make me strong’_.

 


End file.
